I've been writing letters to strangers for over a year and I think I finally know what makes me keep replying

I started writing letters to strangers a little over a year ago.

At first I replied to almost everyone. I think I was just excited that someone, somewhere, had taken the time to write something longer than a message.

Eventually I got pickier 😹

Some conversations lasted two or three letters. Some just quietly disappeared. One has lasted more than a year.

The funny thing is, I don't think it has much to do with having the same hobbies or similar lives.

I think I keep writing when someone makes me curious. When they notice things. When I'm halfway through their letter and I already know there's something I want to tell them back.

I mostly write about very ordinary things myself - a café, a piece of fruit, something I saw from the boat, a weird little moment that probably wouldn't matter to anyone else.

Somehow that has been enough to know people surprisingly well.

Has anyone else had a conversation with a stranger last much longer than you expected? What made you keep coming back to it?

Is this AI?

My Magic 8 Ball says; "Reply hazy. Try again."

Yes, yes it is

Nope. Wrote it myself. If coherent writing looks like AI to you then keep scrolling

I (56F) have many online friends and we communicate via reddit, email, text, signal, messenger, vox, and even occasionally (gasp) a phone call. We've sometimes sent things through the mail, but most of it is e-communication.

My longest friend is E whom I have known for over 20 years. We met on an online women's forum and have pretty much had usually-daily communication the whole time. We use vox mostly so we can talk and listen while doing other things. She's one of my closest friends and supports.

Then I have T who I met over 2 years ago. We're both sober and have supported each other through getting there and staying there.

I have J, who is someone in the same awful club as me as we both lost our spouses to cancer.

P is a younger woman who saw one of my posts here on reddit and needed relationship advice. We've kept in touch and while I wouldn't assume she thought of me as a mentor, I do feel a bit protective of her and try to guide her the best I can.

I also have other friends who come in and out of my life...some it's one great conversation, others go on for a while. Some conversations/relationships/connections fade, while others stay...both are normal and natural and harbor no hard feelings on my end.

I'm always looking for new information and interesting conversations so welcome people to DM when posting to reddit (when allowed). I have good boundaries and am quick to block those who send unsolicited pics, cross lines, or just bore me.

So yeah. Being an educator, writer, librarian, and creative, I really enjoy correspondence. It's part of my daily life and adds a lot of great things. I learn about people, different parts of the world, different demographics and subcultures, a lot of good stuff. Worth it? For sure.

I've had many conversations with strangers online but not through letters. I do like a good epistolary novel though. If you want inspiration for your letters I really loved This is how you lose the time war by El Mohtar and Gladstone. It's quite short

20 years is kind of amazing. I think I'm only just learning that long connections don't have to mean talking all the time.

I'm much better at writing than talking in real life. Writing gives me time to think, which I definitely need sometimes 😹 And seeing that you also do calls and video makes me think maybe I could try that someday too. Thanks for sharing.

I get accused of being AI all the time. I'm a writer, I teach writing, I do it well. People who aren't used to good writers often mistake everything for AI because "how could a person actually be that coherent and grammatically correct?" (huff puff) I just ignore.

You know, I kind of love this idea. I always wanted a penpal as a kid. Did you randomly google an address? How did you pick who/what address to write?

Thats pretty cool. I may need a friend like you. You sound wise.

How are you doing it? I used the slowly app starting last year but I quit after a few months. I did meet one really cool person who we are still in occasional contact on Instagram, but it turned out that so many of the people that I would correspond with eventually ended up asking for money or were AI projects or data mining.

When are you up for parole?