How to handle a busy player?

We’ve been trying to lock in our next session for almost three weeks now. Every single time we get close to a date, it falls apart because of the same person. Everyone in the group is pretty flexible, every time I put out a poll to pick a date, everyone else marks off a handful of days that could work. This one guy always picks just one.

I don’t want to kick him, also cause its a close friend of mine, he’s genuinely into the game and I know it’s not his fault, I guess he just has a busy routine. But it’s starting to wear on the rest of us, I can tell the group wants to play but we need to wait the missing player.

So I’m curious what other DMs do here. Do you just pick a day and stick to it no matter what, and accept that people are going to miss sessions sometimes? Or do you keep trying to find something that works for the whole table every time?
And for anyone who’s actually run a session with a player missing, how do you handle it in the story? Do you just have their character fade into the background for that session and not really address it, come up with some in world reason they’re not around, or just play it and let it be a little weird when they show up again next week and nobody mentions where they were?

Just play without him. His character is there, but nobody acknowledges his existence, and he's not there in combat. Missing three weeks in a row because of one dude is unacceptable.

Weak scheduling kills campaigns.

Pick a day, run the game. If the player can find time, great. If the player is too busy with other higher priority commitments, you still get to play.

I have a regular schedule and I run as long as I have more than 50% (currently 4/6)

Just play anyway and catch him up on what he missed. It’s not fair for the other players who made the time to just cancel when one can’t make it. If that’s the only day he can play and he can’t make it, then it’s on him.

I’d kick him. He’s a close friend, he’s welcome back when his schedule clears up more, until then the game will go on without him.

I DM for a group of 6 - we've run 25 sessions and I have had full attendance about 35-40% of sessions.

Life happens and if you don't get comfortable having people absent you campaign will die. Just run the session and backfill what the PC was doing while the party was busy at a later date or pretend they were there when recapping the story.

I've been that player. The solution from the start was that they play without me, and we contrive a story reason for my character to appear and disappear randomly as my schedule allowed me to play.

That's also how Legends of Avantris is running their Stardust Rhapsody: Anthem campaign with one of the players having childcare responsibilities in addition to her regular job.

"Make time for the campaign, or leave the campaign. Your choice."

There's no other way that doesn't screw over the rest of the players.

Play without him, until he can make it back to the table.

Here's how I run my in person game. At the end of each session I have the players update and hand over their sheets to me so I can photocopy them.

If someone can't show up, I have copies of the sheets. This way another player or the myself, the DM, can play the missing persons character for them so they dont fall behind.

I only cancel my sessions if more than half don't show up.

Just say his character is busy with other stuff when he can't make it.

"Hi players. We've got 4 out of 5 available Tuesday so we'll play then. Sadly without Busy Guy."

Make a set schedule. Play Friday nights 6-10. Or Sunday from 10AM-2PM. Or Tuesdays 8-midnight. Or whenever. Just set a definite time. Either he fits it into his schedule, or he doesn't want to be there.

Trying to accommodate everyone's special scheduling needs for each session is a fool's game. It is a huge waste of your time and energy.

During session zero a time, day and place is established (e.g "the first and third Sunday of the month at 3pm at the game club"). People who show up get to play. People who don't show up miss out on XP and treasure. It's very simple and you'll get in a lot more games this way. And for fuck's sake never, ever make your games depend on a particular person showing up. This is how adult recreational activities are scheduled.

Trying to accommodate everyone's scheduling desires for each session ensures that your game will be beholden to your flakiest, least committed players.

We've been doing that in a regular game of mine, while sending the missing player updates.

Same thing: it's not them being irresponsible, stuff has been going on and they've kept us in the loop. But if you can't make game day, you can't make it.